I'm Not Ready

Sometimes I can be a bit emotional. As I type this post I'm fighting back tears over my small son. My 16 month old just blew me kisses for the first time. It's sweet and exciting, but hard for me to accept. This is one more sign that he is growing much faster than I am ready for. I'm not ready for him to be walking and talking and blowing kisses. The time is flying by so fast...each precious moment and these are moments that I can never get back. I'm just not ready.

Frustration

You may (or may not) know that Devon has some special trials and challenges. Of course, that doesn't alter how much his dad and I love him, but it does make life difficult sometimes. The past 2 to 3 days have just been awful with him. Which is kind of sad because it tainted his birthday on Sunday. We did our best to make sure his birthday was good, with a special Optimus Prime cake (thanks for your help sissy!) and some presents we saved up to buy. The sad part is, that by today (two days later) he has already lost his birthday presents and is grounded to his room.

Today has been especially difficult and I'm feeling frustrated, and lost as to how to help Devon overcome the challenges he faces. I want so desperately to make Devon happy, to make sure that he feels my love, but it often seems that he makes it difficult to do so. I worry that the seemingly constant time-outs and groundings, and losing privileges will translate to feeling un-loved and picked on. More than anything I want him to grow and learn in an atmostphere of love and understanding, however, I know that parenting also requires rules and consequences. Where is the balance between nurturing and discipline? At what point do I shrug my shoulders and say this isn't worth it? How do I know if the battle I'm fighting over this rule (or that rule) is really going to influence the type of man he will become?

Staples Here We Come!

We have a job! Rich met with the Staples store manager yesterday and he begins orientation tomorrow. Like I said before, it's not a dream job, but we're positive that we can make it work. The big boss was even willing to work around Richard's schooling so he won't have to miss his Tuesday night labs.

Work, Anyone?

We might actually have a job!!! A friend of the family told us that Staples was hiring and so Rich put in his application. He had an interview on Friday and it went great. He meets with the store manager on Tuesday, so cross your fingers and say a little prayer for us. It's not a dream job, but it beats being unemployed and he'll be able to stay in school. On top of everything else, he won't be commuting which I am thrilled about. I really hope that this one works out because being unemployed is so scary!

Welcome to a New Year!

Is it 2010 already? Wow, that went fast! I've already accomplished one of my resolutions: to catch up on my blogging. One of my other resolutions is to keep my blog current throughout the year so I don't have to play catch up.

Richard and I are so very grateful for all of the wonderful blessings we received in 2009. Even though we have endured some trials, and Rich is still looking for work, our lives are happy and full. Our boys are healthy, happy, and growing fast. I can't wait to see what this new year brings!